By Nancy Virden (c)2024 Moods come and go, but depression is a complex mental disorder. Called a “mood disorder”, depression is not a healthy state …
I’m Here For You, And I’m Listening
“Only great pain, the long, slow pain that takes its time…compels us to descend to our ultimate depths…I doubt that such pain makes us “better;” but I know it makes us more profound;” This quote is attributed to: Friedrich Nietzsche
Goodreads quotes
In a world where there is disease and pain, there are many different levels of pain a person can experience, let alone handle. There is mild pain which means the pain is can be a nagging pain which is considered annoying but it’s not really anything too significant to interfere with daily activities or daily living.
Then you have “moderate pain,” which means it can be a negative distraction during any type of physical activity. It’s tolerable but it can’t be ignored for longer than a certain period of time.
The third type or level of pain a person experiences is called “Severe pain.” Severe pain can be the worst type or level of pain a person can experience. “Severe pain,” is a feeling of great discomfort or intensity that makes it extremely difficult to perform activities or even function in daily life. Even so much so, it can interfere with socialization and going out with family or friends. Which in turn confides a person to their home leaving them feeling cut off from the world, as well as isolated.
Here are different levels of pain intensity and what each one means:
Pain that takes over our senses and limits our daily living, activities, and socializing with family and friends outside our homes.
Intense pain that severely impacts and interrupts our ability to socialize and perform daily activities and tasks.
Excruciating and immense pain that can affect speaking and can cause us to disengage from communication and conversation, replaced with uncontrollable moaning and crying in pain.
Unspeakable and the ultimate worse kind of pain there is on a level scale. This level can and will cause a person to become bedridden. Not only that but, a person’s pain can become overwhelmingly severe, they may even experience hallucinations due to their body not being able to cope with the pain, without intervention.
Now, with that said, no one human experiences pain in the same exact way you do. Nor does anyone who isn’t experiencing your same pain have any right whatsoever to dismiss your pain as anything less than what it is. Your pain is just as important as anyone else’s pain. It’s not a competition. No one person is in more or less pain than you. Take for instance a cancer patient, would you tell a cancer patient to, “suck it up” and “deal with it?” NO! Absolutely not!
Then how is anyone else’s pain any less important? I also must mention that we all heal in different ways. Some heal quicker than others and some take longer than others to heal due having an autoimmune condition/disease or some form of underlying disease preventing them from healing.
Take for example someone like myself who suffers with Level 10 pain on a daily basis. The worst and most significant kind of pain there is. It affects every aspect of my life, including doing something as simple as walking, going to the bathroom, getting dressed, taking a shower, grocery shopping, etc. I have to depend on my husband and kids to help me, which hurts my character and makes me feel so small.
I am the type of person who does not handle pain very well at all. My body has a very low tolerance for pain. I will inform you that I have absolutely no control over that. Can I take pain medications? Yes, absolutely but those are only enough to take the edge off but doesn’t remove all the pain. So don’t you dare sit there and tell me “it’s mind over matter!” I’m here to tell you, THAT IS BS!!
When a person such as myself who suffers with not only Chronic Pain, but Degenerative Disc Disease, (Collapsed Stage), Lumbar Spinal Stenosis, as well as underlying diseases, it’s extremely difficult for my body to heal. Let alone function properly. I have lost all the tissue and cartilage in between my vertebrae’s. The bones in back are constantly rubbing together, which creates friction, and inflammation. Overtime, when the bones are constantly rubbing together it causes erosion. What does that come with? LEVEL 10 Pain!
If I were able to “heal” my body with my mind as well as exercise, yoga, and meditation and replace lost tissue and cartilage in between my vertebrae’s, and automatically be completely out of pain and completely healed, IT WOULD BE A DAMN MIRACLE!!
Some things like exercise, yoga, and meditation is NOT the answer to everything! Yes granted, it could help stimulate the mind and help improve our mood and keep us from getting depressed, as well as improve our mental health and strengthen our muscles. But it is by NO MEANS a physical miracle to heal a body that has already sustained permanent damage.
Degenerative Disc Disease and Spinal Stenosis is a permanent condition and disease, it’s irreversible! Although some doctors may say by surgically altering the discs in the spine may help prolong life and reduce pain, but like I said before, not every human body is going to heal in the same way. Many people who have had spinal surgery are still in remarkable pain despite surgical intervention.
For those of you who do not know what Degenerative Disc Disease and Spinal Stenosis is, read below.
At this stage, the spinal discs undergo irreversible degeneration. To address spine issues, invasive surgery is the only solution available. During the collapsing stage, mobility is significantly compromised.
The fusion of the bones in the spine occurs as a result of the pressure exerted by the spinal column. This fusion is a result of the absence of spinal discs that normally separate the bones in the spine. As the bones fuse, it leads to decreased mobility across various areas of the spine.
You might find it difficult to rotate your body or maintain an upright posture. Additionally, you may experience continuous back pain. At this point, the spinal discomfort will intensify as a result of persistent inflammation and stress on the bones.
Those who reach the collapsing stage often face challenges in leading regular lives. They might find themselves restricted to a wheelchair or confined to bed due to limited mobility and intense pain. Given the seriousness of the collapsing stage, it is crucial to address degenerative disc disease well before it reaches this point.
You will then avoid the consequences of this stage of the disease. You can also avoid more intensive treatments such as surgery.
Source of my information: https://painandspinespecialists.com/what-are-the-stages-of-degenerative-disc-disease/
Spinal stenosis happens when the bony openings (foramina) in the spine start to narrow, reducing the space for nerves. This narrowing can take place in the spinal canal (where the spinal cord is located) and/or in the intervertebral foramina where spinal nerves exit the spinal canal. The compression of a spinal nerve or spinal cord due to this narrowing can lead to pain, tingling, numbness, and weakness, depending on the extent of narrowing and the affected area. To read more about spinal stenosis visit: https://www.spine-health.com/conditions/spinal-stenosis/what-spinal-stenosis
So in conclusion, if you are suffering with constant agonizing pain, just know you are not alone. I get how hopeless you may feel, how discouraged you may feel, how life can feel impossible and lonely. I have had many days where I felt I couldn’t go on, where all I wanted to do was just give up because this pain has been too significant I felt I couldn’t take one more day of it but I have stayed resilient and have tried everything remotely possible to help keep myself going through this storm. I have traveled down many paths to find solution after solution, some with a promise of hope and others not so much.
But I’m here to tell you, DO NOT GIVE UP!!! And DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO DIMINISH OR DISMISS YOUR LEVEL OF PAIN!!! YOUR PAIN MATTERS NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL!!
Create Love; Not Hate. - Restore Peace in Humanity
Written in response to: https://lindaghill.com/category/one-liner-wednesday/
Copyright ©️ by: Jenny Frye. June 12, 2024 – All rights reserved.
Peace lies in fields of green,
A succulent place, serene.
Stress melts away,
as trees sway.
As the fiery sun sets,
Darkness is met,
with eyes open,
senses awoken.
Moonlight dances,
upon the swaying branches,
Warm summer air,
felt upon skin, bare.
Dazzling stars,
ingrained in memoirs.
Wishes spoken,
for a second, time frozen.
Copyright ©️ by JennyFrye. June 11, 2024. All rights reserved.
“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality.” – Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein made this statement in the Life Magazine on May 2, 1955.
Did you know that research shows that people who are inquisitive or curious about the mysteries of life and everything in it, aids in brain development as well as achievement in life? It helps reduce anxiety and increases positive emotions.
Yeah, I didn’t either.
Everyday, things in life changes, our world is moving at such a fast pace, it’s difficult to keep up. As the saying goes, “you learn something new everyday.” This world is so big with voluptuous mysteries that have yet to be discovered and unraveled. We could spend our whole lives learning new things and everything in this life that the world has to offer. We will never stop learning about the mysteries, eternity, and the structures of this world and life.
With that said, if you are a very curious and inquisitive person like me, please don’t stop asking questions. And don’t you dare allow anyone to tell you, you are annoying or that you ask too many questions. It’s perfectly normal and more than okay to expand your knowledge about the virtues and mysteries of life.
Those people who make you feel small and ignorant just because you ask a lot of questions and are curious about the mysteries in life, are insecure about their own knowledge in life and have no ambition or drive to learn new things.
You are your own person, you have your own way of learning new things. You have every right to think outside of the box. Keep being you and keep asking questions! If one person you ask can’t answer your questions, don’t give up. Keep asking questions until you get the answers you need. It’s all part of being a curious and inquisitive human being.
Curiosity is intelligence having fun – Albert Einstein
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain
Getting lost only to find yourself, will
lead you down paths, not yet tread,
Through valleys deep, mountains high, until
you discover the strength within you, spread.
To soar above doubts and fears,
that once held you back, will free you to fly,
to chase your dreams, wipe away tears.
Embrace the unknown, reach for the sky.
Stop being afraid to lose your way.
In darkness you will find the light,
that guides you to a brighter day,
and will help you shine, bold and bright.
Written in response to: Reena’s Xploration Challenge #334
Copyright ©️ by: Jenny Frye June 7, 2024 All rights reserved.
“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore”
We live in a world, divided,
A world of hate and war,
Too many corrupt politicians, two sided.
We live in dark times,
Our Veterans are lining the streets,
Homeless and poor, shaking a cup for dimes,
Hoping to earn enough, just to eat.
We are a world at war,
filled with hate and greed,
and lack of rapport.
Peace needs to intercede.
Written in response to https://dversepoets.com/2024/06/06/dverse-oln-363-show-me-the-movies/
“Toto, I’ve a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore” – From the Wizard of Oz (1939)
“It ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” – Rocky Balboa
Strength is all I’ve ever known,
I’ve had no choice but to be strong.
Battle after battle, resilience I have shown,
Dark paths I have walked along.
Each dark path traveled, trials came,
Some knocked me flat on my face,
While others, a head hung in shame,
But each battle fought, I fought with grace.
Through weakness, comes strength,
With strength, comes resilience,
trials will come in wavelengths,
Some will be down right hideous.
You win some, you lose some,
The ones lost, lose with humility,
The ones won, beat your own drum.
Never give up, embrace your survivability.
Written in response to: https://thesoundofonehandtyping.com/2024/06/04/writers-workshop-prompts-for-june-6/
How is one supposed to live a life of purpose when all your life is filled with is constant around the clock, agonizing chronic pain!?
Suffering with constant around the clock chronic pain has affected every aspect of my life, in more ways than one. How?
Allow me to explain:
Living a life filled with constant chronic pain is a very difficult challenge like no other. It feels as though every aspect of my life is being controlled by this unrelenting force, leaving me feeling helpless and defeated. How is one supposed to find purpose in life when all you can focus on is the pain that never seems to go away?
For me, the effects of chronic pain have been far-reaching. Not only does it impact me physically, but it also takes a toll on my mental health. The constant agony I experience on a daily basis leaves me feeling drained and unable to fully engage with the world around me. It’s discouraging to find joy in simple tasks when every movement is met with excruciating pain.
The loss of mobility that comes with chronic pain is perhaps the most devastating aspect of it all. Being unable to do the things that once brought me so much joy and fulfillment is a constant reminder of the limitations that this pain imposes on my life. It’s easy to feel isolated and alone when I’m stuck in bed while the world continues to move forward without me.
As the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months, and months turn into years, the mental toll of chronic pain becomes increasingly apparent. Depression, anxiety, and a sense of hopelessness has quickly taken hold, making it even more challenging to see a way out of the darkness that pain brings. It’s a vicious cycle that can feel impossible to break free from.
So, how is one supposed to find purpose in life when all they can feel is agonizing pain? It’s a question that I grapple with every day. But despite the challenges that chronic pain presents, I believe that there is still hope for a fulfilling life. It may require a shift in perspective and a willingness to adapt to new limitations, but it is possible to find moments of joy and purpose even in the midst of pain.
Finding purpose in a life filled with chronic pain may involve redefining what success looks like for those of you who suffer with chronic pain. It may mean finding new hobbies or activities that can be done within your physical limitations. It may also involve seeking support from loved ones or mental health professionals to help cope with the emotional toll of pain.
While chronic pain may never fully go away, it doesn’t have to define who you are or what you’re capable of achieving. By finding ways to adapt and thrive in spite of chronic pain, it is possible to live a life of purpose and fulfillment. It may not be easy, but it is worth fighting for.
I know a lot of you have noticed my writing language has changed within the last few days and may leave you scratching your heads wondering, what has gotten into that woman. 🤔
Well, a simple answer to that would be,
LIFE!…
Life has me spinning 😵💫 in circles, which is causing my mental and emotional health to be in a downward slope.
But I’m here to tell you, I’m not going to apologize for my erratic behavior. Everyone has their good days and bad days. The last few days just happen to be my bad days. Well, if you don’t count my car breaking down last week.
I don’t always have to be strong all the time. This is me, being my authentic self. Not that I haven’t always been, but it seems as though people in my life expect me to be able to keep it all together, all the time. No. It doesn’t work that way. I am human and I have feelings just like everyone else. I am allowed to vent, to be sad, and to be angry.
That’s what makes me human. I’m not some programmed robot who doesn’t have feelings. I’m very much, one hundred percent human, who has real feelings and emotions. Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, storms move in when we least expect them. But, with time, I will bounce back, and I will eventually be okay.
I’m not okay,
The weight on my chest,
Crushing me down,
I can’t catch my breath.
I’m not okay,
nothing to numb the pain,
my heart aches,
with unending pain.
I’m not okay,
But I’ll keep fighting,
I won’t give up,
I’ll keep writing.
I’m not okay,
But that’s okay,
I’ll find my way,
To a brighter day.
Motivational quotes, they can be quite inspiring, right? Someone who comes across it may need to see it at just the right time. I know I have came upon many motivational quotes, phrases, poems, and statements throughout my life time.
I have also came up with my own motivational quotes that have surprisingly shocked me to my core and gave me goose bumps.
So, with that said, I’ll get on with what motivational quote I came up with yesterday.
Yesterday, my husband and I were on our way to the courthouse to renew our tags and I saw two trucks that I liked. So, I say to my husband “Those are nice trucks.”
(By the way, in case you all don’t know, I love trucks!)
Anyways, my husband then goes on to say, “I want a truck so bad.” I then say, “if you ever do get a truck, we outta take it out to go mudding and do 360’s in the mud, that would be so much fun!” 🤩
My husband’s response: “If I ever do get a truck, I’m not going to tear it up by going out mudding.”
My response: 🤦♀️ “Yeah but, trucks are built to handle that type of thing.”
-“You gotta live a little.”
I then say to my husband – YOLO!!
For those who haven’t heard the term: (YOLO)
YOLO – You Only Live Once
Then……..I say, (This is where I came up with my own motivational quote.)
If you can’t live while you are alive, then you aren’t living. – Jenny Frye
Read that again…
In life, we all need and thrive on fun! We are built for speed. We all long for change. We love living on the edge. There is so much more to life than paying bills, living a mundane life, worrying about things that are beyond our control.
We all need to get away, we all need a break from time to time. It’s in our nature.
It’s okay to have fun. It’s okay to live a little. There is so much more out there to enjoy and explore.
If you are just living from day to day in the same boring routine and you find yourself feeling like you are in a twilight zone or some sort of paradox, that’s when you know,
it’s time to get away. It’s time to surround yourself with a change of scenery!
GET OUT THERE AND LIVE A LITTLE!!!
Our problems and life’s adversities are only temporary. Not everyday will bring the same amount of pain and or darkness. There is light on the other side if we strive to reach hard enough for it. By: Jenny Frye
Copyright ©️ by: Jenny Frye. All rights reserved.
If anyone has “Life360” on their phones, then you know how it can be a lifesaver, right. It certainly came in handy for me today, a lifesaver in a time of crisis. Thanks to paying $19.99 a month, to receive these services, I was able to get my car towed to O’reileys for FREE. There were no additional out of pocket costs for me. That was a blessing in disguise, especially when I didn’t have a penny to my name.
After contacting “Life360” and getting everything arranged, the tow truck didn’t get there until about 11am. Now mind you, my husband and I had already been broken down for over an hour prior to this. It only took about 10-15 for the tow truck to get our car hooked up to the truck and to arrive at O’reileys.
Shortly after my car gets to O’reileys, my father in law begins the long and tedious job of not only replacing our car battery but also replacing our alternator. Let me tell you, that was a very long and exhausting job for my father in law. Allow me to explain why. With where my serpentine belt is, he had to have a special tool to take off the bolts so he could get to the alternator and replace it.
Well, my father in-law had left that special tool at his house, which is about 45 minutes from here. So my father in-law asked O’reileys if they had that tool he needed and of course, they didn’t. So my father in-law tries to make do with what he had to work with. Roughly, an hour goes by and the tools he is using just aren’t getting the job done. Those stubborn bolts just aren’t coming off, then I hear the words,
“I’m gonna have to bite the bullet.”
I’m thinking, oh great, that’s just more money he is having to shell out for us. 🤦♀️ At this point, I’m already feeling bad enough enough that he had to come all this way to fix our car, now he has to spend more money to buy a tool when he has two at home already. So then, my father in-law came out of O’reileys with the tool he bought and things begin to look promising.
I watch my father in-law put this tool together,
(which I can’t for the life of me, think of at the moment, so please bear with me.)
Anyways, he begins digging down deep to loosen the bolts to my serpentine belt, I then see my husband give me the 👍 sign. *I breathe a sigh of relief.*
At this point, things were going smoothly and my husband and I would be back on the road and back home in no time. Finally, the time arrived. It was after 2pm. My car is all fixed up and everything work’s flawlessly. My car drives so much smoother now, thanks to the generosity of my father in-law.
This whole day has been a very long, stressful, and exhausting day. It may not have started out too well, but it ended well. My husband and I are forever grateful and thankful for my Father in-laws help. He could have simply said no to helping us, but with his kind and warm selfless heart, he came to our rescue. Took the time out of his day to fix my battery and alternator; which happened to be a very long and tedious task.
I also must mention a good friend of mine, who not only used his own vehicle and gas to come out to help us but who also took the time out of his day to try and do what he could to help us.
It’s times like this that having reliable family and friends who can selflessly turn a dark moment into a path that lights the path of Hope.
*ALWAYS CHERISH THE ONES YOU LOVE, ALWAYS TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM, HOLD THEM TIGHT. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE LAST TIME YOU WILL GET ANOTHER CHANCE. TOMORROW IS NEVER PROMISED.
Not exactly how I wanted to start my day🥺
After taking my youngest daughter to her drivers Ed 15 miles from my home town, I make it there safely. But the drive back was something I did not plan on happening . Just as we get into town, my car begins to wig out on me and my steering wheel locks up.
There I am stuck at the red light 🚦. I then proceed to turn the car off, in fear of worse things happening. There I am stuck in the middle of the road and my car won’t start. 🙄 So I did what anyone would do and I tried starting it and with my luck it wouldn’t start. So then I tried turning the key until I could get it start.
Finally, I was able to get it started but my steering wheel was still locked up. So I cautiously drive it at a snails speed and pulled it over to the side of the road. There I am stuck on the side of the road without a penny to my name or any tools to at least fix the corrosion on my battery cable. I then call some friends I knew I could rely on, praying they would somehow be able to help us out.
After waiting for what seemed like forever, a good friend of mine shows up, takes a look at my car and at first glance says it’s definitely our battery. I’m thinking ok good. It’s not that big of a deal, we just need a new battery and we’ll be good to go. Yeah wishful thinking! After scraping off the corrosion off the battery cable and putting it back on, putting jumper cables on and charging it, I start my car. Ahhhh! What a relief, it’s starts and my steering wheel unlocks.
Just when I thought my husband and I were in the clear and thought I could drive home, my good friend takes the jumper cables off and surprise, surprise, my car shuts off. I throw my hands up in frustration and am wondering why it shuts off. Then I hear the words “it’s your alternator.” OF COURSE IT IS!! WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG!! That’s just my luck!
“I don’t have the money for an alternator!” “Now, what am I going to do!” Im thinking, I’m certainly not going to just leave my car here to be vandalized or broken into! With my father in-law already on the way here; forty five minutes out, we are stuck. We then proceed to wait and all I could do was laugh at the situation. If I don’t laugh, I will be a ball of tears.
Fast forward forty five minutes or so later, my father in-law shows up, takes a look at my car and sure enough, our alternator is shot! (Here comes the water works.) Life and life’s heartaches, finances, physical chronic pain, family issues, is already stressful enough. At this point, I can’t handle much more.
My stress meter is at its max peak, and rising. My anxiety is through the roof. I’m really trying to be strong and keep it together but with all these things, one after another happening without any sign of relief has got my feathers ruffled.
To be continued…I’ll update you all here soon.
Heartland Echoes 