If humans had taglines, what would yours be?
– I’ve had no choice but to be strong –
“Abuse is never deserved, it is an exploitation of innocence and physical disadvantage, which is perceived as an opportunity by the abuser.” – Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence
Why did I choose this tagline? Keep reading…
Here’s a small insight in the Back story to my tagline:
From the time I was 6 years old until I was 19 years old, I suffered horribly from people who were supposed to be the ones to protect me, love me, guide me, give me the tools needed for adulthood. But unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.
March 15, 1981 is the day I was born into this world, to a mother who had already decided my fate, long before I was born. My biological mother and biological father didn’t want me from the get go. They gave me to a family who they thought would be better for me than they could provide. But they were sorely mistaken, their judgement was clouded by their alcoholism.
At just two years old, I was adopted by my half sister and her husband, who I would grow up calling “mom.” and “dad.” I was the only girl out of four boys, who I would grow up calling, “my brothers.” From the time I was six years old is how far back my memory will allow me to remember certain events. Normally, people who can remember that far back, remember good childhood memories and can recall how happy of a child they were, friends they had, even schools they attended.
Most people were blessed with a happy, care free childhood with parents who wanted them, loved them, cared for them, accepted them, made them feel safe, and protected them at all costs. But sadly, that wasn’t the case with my childhood.
I was my adoptive parent’s punching bag when they were having a bad day; mainly from my adoptive father. Blow after blow felt like some horrible nightmare. Not only was I his punching bag but, I was also my adoptive father’s play toy, a sexual fantasy that he would so grossly abuse and manipulate. A toy he would take advantage of without any conscious thought, nor a shred of guilt.
As a child at the very young and innocent age of six years old, I had little control over this monstrous beast and his sick and twisted demise. I was trapped, frozen in fear, with no escape, nowhere to run, feeling so alone. Fighting to break free only made the situation more intense, the more I fought, the harder he would restrain me. The screams weren’t enough to alert the neighbors, nor loud enough to sway him from his relentless pursuit to achieve his sick, demented fantasy.
To Be Continued…
As I grew up and was old enough to understand and process all the inhumane things that were so cruelly done to me as a child, I never would have imagined I would be a victim of sexual, and physical assault. The mental, emotional, and verbal abuse that came along with it, wasn’t any better.
My childhood was filled with constant fear, mental and emotional pain, anxiety, and depression. I have very little happy memories of my childhood, and times I felt safe. I wish I could sit here and say I had the greatest and happiest childhood, because I know that’s what people in today’s society would want to hear.
But in life, that’s not always the case, by telling my story and getting my story out there, who knows, my story could touch someone and inspire someone who’s also suffered from child abuse. Or who knows, maybe someone who is currently suffering with any type of abuse will gain the courage to step forward and speak out.
Now, with that said, now that you know a little about my back story you can understand a little about why I chose my tagline:
“I’ve had no choice but to be strong.”
To read more of my story, click on the link below and it will take you to my autobiography I’ve been writing since 2018.
Heartland Echoes 